This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This is the 457th week, and we’re covering the Priesthood session of the October 2006 General Conference.
The title of this post comes from mashing together the titles of Elder Christofferson’s talk, Let Us Be Men, with President Hinckley’s, Rise Up, Men of God. We’re going through a crisis of masculinity these days. Richard V. Reeves’s book, “Of Boys and Men” covers this, and a review by David Brooks in the New York Times captures some of the most arresting statistics:
- By high school, two-thirds of the students in the top 10 percent of the class, ranked by G.P.A., are girls, while roughly two-thirds of the students at the lowest decile are boys.
- One in three American men with only a high school diploma — 10 million men — is now out of the labor force.
- Men account for close to three out of every four “deaths of despair” — suicide and drug overdoses.
As men struggle, some–especially young men–turn to role-models like Andrew Tate. Tate has nearly 10 million followers on X (Twitter) and is the third-most Google person. Tate is a self-described misogynist who is being investigated on suspicion of rape and human trafficking in two different countries (the UK and Romania). Among his other ventures, he ran Hustler’s University, where 100,000 subscribed to learn Tate’s version of what it means to be a man.
In the face of the real struggles men, especially young man, the world’s role models only serve to mislead and exacerbate the underlying problems.
Contrast that with the vision of masculinity taught by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Many–especially those who are critical–point out that the Church is highly patriarchal and superficially they are absolutely right. But what kind of patriarchy? What does it mean to be a man, in the eyes of the General Authorities of the Church?
According to Elder Christofferson, “In large measure, true manhood is defined in our relationship to women.” And what guides a man’s relationship to women? The Family: A Proclamation to the World which declares (this is the part Elder Christofferson quoted):
The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. … By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.
What else epitomizes manliness, in Elder Christofferson’s view? He mentions two other major characteristics. “Integrity is fundamental to being men. Integrity means being truthful, but it also means accepting responsibility and honoring commitments and covenants.” Elder Christofferson acknowledges that all men make mistakes and that men of integrity admit theirs, and goes on to point out that “True manhood is not always measured by the fruits of one’s labors but by the labors themselves—by one’s striving.”
This much is somewhat stern. The world offers to teach men what they can take. The Church teaches men what they can give.
But sternness is often what men need: a call to action, a challenge to rise to, a quest to embark on.
What’s more, Elder Christofferson points out that the high expectations for men to serve, to sacrifice, and to follow duty lead to fulfillment and meaning. This vision of manliness asks a lot, but it is also the only sure route to peace:
Though he will make some sacrifices and deny himself some pleasures in the course of honoring his commitments, the true man leads a rewarding life. He gives much, but he receives more, and he lives content in the approval of his Heavenly Father. The life of true manhood is the good life.
Ultimately, Elder Christofferson points us towards the Savior as the ideal of manliness, pointing out that “He gave His life to redeem mankind. Surely we can accept responsibility for those He entrusts to our care.” That’s what the Restored Gospel teaches about being a man: that we strive to be like our Savior–who took responsibility for us–by in turn taking responsibility for all those in our care.
The other talks in this session show that this vision of manliness is not a one-off or something particular to Elder Christofferson. In He Trusts Us!, Elder Ellis cites D&C 121:
That section also warns us of those attitudes and actions that will cause us to lose our priesthood power. If we “aspire to the honors of men,” attempt to “cover our sins,” try to “gratify our pride” or “vain ambition,” or seek to “exercise control” over others, we lose the priesthood power (see vv. 35–37). From that point we would be practicing priestcraft. We would have left the service of God and would be putting ourselves in the service of Satan.
Men of the Church are under solemn obligation to use priesthood authority to serve others, and never to serve themselves. We are explicitly forbidden from using authority to “exercise control”. Coercion is wholly incompatible with masculinity in the Restored Gospel.
In Spiritual Nutrients, President Faust teaches that “the human spirit needs love.” If there is one thing that has surprised me the most about reading all these General Conference talks–especially from the bad old 1970s and 1980s–it’s how incredibly warm and gentle the General Authorities are. The men we look up to in the Church are men who freely demonstrate their affection for each other, for their wives, for their families, and for the members of the Church and the people of the world. There is nothing reserved or aloof about them. Open demonstrations of love are intrinsic to masculinity in the Restored Gospel.
In True to Our Priesthood Trust, President Monson reiterates the themes of duty and service. “Time marches on,” he says. “Duty keeps cadence with that march. Duty does not dim nor diminish.” He taught:
Ours is the responsibility to so conduct our lives that when the call comes to provide a priesthood blessing or to assist in any way, we are worthy to do so.
A lifetime obligation to live life in service to others is a requirement of masculinity in the Restored Gospel.
And last of all came President Hinckley’s talk, Rise Up, Men of God, and some more tough love: “There is not a man or boy in this vast congregation tonight who cannot improve his life. And that needs to happen.” Why? Because “with this priesthood comes a great obligation to be worthy of it.” Self-improvement and high standards for ourselves are a part of masculinity in the Restored Gospel.
When I was a kid, the teachings I heard about how the ills of the world could be solved with the Gospel of Jesus Christ sounded like exaggerations. What does the Gospel have to say about responsible fiscal policy? About how to protect national interest in the contests of great powers? About any of the crucial domestic or foreign policy questions of the day?
Sure, you can try to invent something, but if you do you’re almost guaranteed to end up reading scripture in light of your preferred politics instead of the other way around. The scriptures just don’t answer questions like these.
But then I heard not only that the Gospel could answer the questions of the world and nothing else could, and–frankly–as a teenager that was about the hardest teaching to accept. It just made no sense to me.
Well, the older I get the more sense it makes. Because politics is downstream of culture. It’s not that important to know the right answer to tough policy questions. It is that important to have a healthy civil society, however, because healthy societies figure out solutions to problems. Unhealthy societies cannot.
And what makes for healthy societies? A lot of components, of course, but–to wrap up an already-long post–it’s no exaggeration to say that the two critical components are teaching the relationship of humans to God (mediated through the commandments, and especially the emphasis on repentance and all that entails) and the relationship of humans to humans (in particular through the family). Which, it turns out, is exactly what the Gospel teaches us.
The world needs Jesus. I no longer see that as an exaggeration or a stretch. It’s the truth.
And in particular, today, American men need Jesus. They need the teachings of the Restored Gospel and the model of masculinity displayed by General Authorities and–above all else–by Jesus Christ himself.